RedEye's Snark Attack

Big shout out to Mack Lyons for breaking down the Birmingham Sewage/Jefferson County Bankruptcy issue. I have not written on the subject because I didn't really understand the dynamics. But I do now. It all boils down to BIOTBG (Blame It On The Black Guy).

In late September, the SEC ended its case for disgorgement against former Birmingham mayor, former Jefferson County commission president and former Fairfield mayor Larry Langford, after the SEC discovered the only asset they could get as part of restitution was a 1/2-interest in his home. It's the only thing he has left, aside from a mess of debts stemming from criminal and civil penalties.

Langford is currently serving a 15-year sentence in federal prison, after being convicted of over 60 counts of bribery and corruption. Given his age (65) and how he won't be eligible to walk out of prison until at least 2023, it's a possibility that this man will die in prison. On the other hand, the two men convicted alongside him, investment banker Bill Blount and former lobbyist Al LaPierre, earned much lighter sentences. True, they plead guilty and Langford didn't, but the disparity in sentencing only raises the usual conclusions about racially-motivated "justice" in this country.

Most AL.com commentators have been chomping at the bit for Langford's demise and rolling around in his family's misery like happy pigs in slop. Blount and LaPierre never got this much bile thrown at them.

The Birmingham Skews on The Almost Certain Uncertainty the residents of Jefferson County face due to the debt sewer debacle.

Maybe only good will come of it—and maybe only bad. In any case it does seem reasonable to expect to see higher rates and to assume that Jefferson County, never exactly the belle of the ball, will now be infinitely less attractive to economic developers of every stripe. (I don’t know about you, but I tend to avoid the aging person with a rotten tooth, bad odor, and a black eye who is in the middle of doing an apparently irresponsible thing. You can never be sure where they’ll take you or what you’ll get.) In any case, today is the first day of our increasingly uncertain future.

ADP Calls for Bachus to Resign Over Lucky, Lucrative Stock Deals. Oh, OK. (RedEye roll). I wonder what part of IOKIYAR (It's OK If You Are A Republican) for elected officials to get rich off insider information don't they understand?

What's that you say? GOP hopefuls would limit federal role in education? I'm shocked! Shocked I tell you. NOT. The GOP wants to go back to the days of separate and unequal education, recreating a lot of under educated black youth so they can form non-profit (sic), faith-based, compassionate, Christan, charitable organizations to provide sports and after school programs to help them. Big Snark. It would be too much like the right (pun intended) to invest in making sure every child had access to a quality public education. Can't have them there disadvantaged youth rising up out of the New Jim Crow.

The Republican Slogan for 2012: Suppress the Vote! Or, If you can't beat em, suppress em.

Aside from making it harder or impossible for certain voters to participate in elections, conservatives are working to assure that the “right” voters are not left out of the system.

You know your campaign is in trouble when you have to resort to making your wife Stand By Her Man and defend you against sexual harassment on TeeVee like a good little wife.

But this time, Gloria Cain has come out fighting.
"You hear the graphic allegations and we know that would have been something that's totally disrespectful of her as a woman," she says in her first televised interview. "And I know the type of person he is. He totally respects women."

I hate to tell you this Gloria, but THIS is Herman Cain's totally respectful sexy job creation plan for women.

“He suddenly reached over and he put his hand on my leg, under my skirt, and reached for my genitals. He also grabbed my head and brought it towards his crotch.” And then he asked if she wanted that job or not. So technically Herman Cain might be right when he keeps saying those “harassment” charges are false, in the sense that they are actually more like assault.

RedEye's Snark Attack over and out.